Can you answer this question?
Do you ever sit and question other peoples intentions in regard to having a relationship with you? What are they looking for in your friendship? Why are they seeking you out? What do they see in you that maybe you don’t recognize in yourself?
Why do you ask yourself these questions? Shouldn’t you just be pleased that someone finds your personality and qualities great and they want to be around you or get to know you better?
Self criticism is also known as “beating yourself up”. We teach our children to like themselves and not care about what others think. Why is it that adults, women are notorious for self criticism, are so tough on themselves? Don’t get me wrong, there is a healthy amount of judgment we need to place on ourselves. We need to judge our intentions, health etc. But when the judgment gets out of control it will hold us back from going after the things we want, finding new friends and relationships, jobs/careers and education. There is judgment we place on ourselves, but when we are constantly criticizing ourselves, this is where the problem begins.
Criticizing yourself is allowing you to have harsh inner thoughts. Your subconscious will move those thoughts to the conscious mind and act on them making you dislike yourself. You start to focus on your perceived fears that you are having in life; fear of people liking you; fear that you can’t get into that college; fear that you would never get the job you are applying for; fear that you don’t deserve nice things. When you think poorly of yourself, how do you think others will like you or want to spend time with you?
Over time this leads to low self esteem and low self confidence. You will allow your thoughts to hold you back. What about that job that you want? That business you want to start? That new certification you would love to have? That shiny new car? The ability to lose that last 15 pounds? You will not go after these things because you have talked yourself into thinking you don’t deserve them or you “can’t” do what it takes to achieve them.
Why do you not deserve nice things? You owe it to yourself to figure this out. This is where you need to break out that dusty journal and start writing down your good qualities. And you need to write them daily. Retrain your brain to believe you ARE fabulous, you DO deserve the best things in life! Set goals and aim for improving your thoughts so you can grow. Chase your dreams, but don’t just chase them, stop and evaluate what happened in your life to allow you to see yourself in this poor way. Do you suffer from shame, guilt and negativity? Did you suffer form a past trauma? It’s time to deal with these things so you can get the “bad” thoughts out of your head and replace them with positive ones.
You should be answering the question in the title as “MYSELF”. You should love yourself the best; more than anyone else loves you. If you don’t love you first, you will be unable to accept love from others because you will think you are not worthy of love and a happy life. Don’t hold back anymore from going after the things you want in life; be a doer! Love yourself first!
Are you reading this and thinking “that’s me”. Are you stuck in a negative mindset, and need someone to help inspire you to improve your coping skills? Maybe you struggle with reaching your health and wellness goals because you think you “don’t deserve to be healthy”; your overwhelmed by your current health state and you need guidance in making healthy choices. If this relates to you, then I can help you.
I will help you find a clear, positive mindset and learn positive coping strategies to help you with lasting improvement in your mind and mood. You will have the knowledge to improve your dietary habits; and you will have the knowledge and tools to help you better manage your chronic disease.
Move forward in your overall wellness and contact me to discuss the best strategies for you!
Tina Butt, Health and Wellness Coach and Healthcare Advocate
Qualified Wellness Solutions, LLC