I have talked about changing your mindset before in a previous blog. This is a topic that I, as you, have encountered on a regular basis. There is always a reason for you to review your life, how you handle your life and it’s daily trials and how you feel afterward.
Recently, I encountered a situation that I could have handled very differently than I actually did. But, I walked away feeling proud of myself. This means I stuck with my sense of self!
I have always been a person that is a “people pleaser”. I like everyone to get along, I don’t like confrontation. I am good at getting my point across, but actual confrontation, I run from. I am not a quitter, I will try and try again to get what I want and to get where I am today. The problem with this is while on this path, I encounter personalities that push me, judge me, aggravate me, talk about me, irritate me, demoralize me, embarrass me and discount me.
The behavior of others:
- will not stop me from being me!
- will not stop me from improving!
- will not stop me from learning!
- will not stop me from the professional person that I am!
- will not change my mind about who I am!
- will not change my goals in life!
This topic got me thinking and talking to others that I trust. There are several people that “tolerate” things and people in order to not have to confront the ones that are causing them to struggle with their inability to stand up for themselves. This toleration is a cause of stress that people may not want to see or admit to. For me, confrontation is a cause of stress on my mind and body.
Stress causes illness, headaches, pain, fatigue, bowel issues and many other ailments (another topic I discussed in an earlier blog). You need to look at when you are exhibiting “stress” in your day. How will you know if something is causing stress? Below, I will post some of the feelings I experience.
- racing heart
- butterflies in my stomach
- tightness in my neck and shoulders
- there are probably others that I am not realizing.
Why am I writing about this topic? If I am experiencing this, then I know you are. I am in the process of healing myself from an illness that stress will cause an exacerbation of symptoms. I know any stress can cause me to feel sick. SO, why will I put up with these feelings? I am working on that. I am working on changing my mindset about certain situations. How am I doing this?
- I cannot change someone else’s personality
- I cannot change someones view about me
- I cannot change someone else’s bad day
- I cannot change someone else’s temperament
The things I can change are:
- I can make the rules for my life! so can YOU!
- I control how I handle situations that are handed to me! so can YOU!
- I can have controlled conversations with the person(s) that cause me stress! so can YOU!
- I can set my own boundaries as to what I will allow! so can YOU!
- I may not always get to chose who I interact with, but I can manage the way I interact with them! so can YOU! (I may choose not to interact at all)
Some people just have toxic minds and mouths, that is not something we can change. We can change the way our mind reacts, body responds and how our mouths speak back. If you allow a person to affect the way you know you should handle yourself, this will cause stress, therefore, illness. My health and your health is WAY more important than the toxic person trying to interfere with your overall wellness. I will never be the person that argues back, I will always whistle, smile and walk away. I meditate and do breathing exercises to calm my mind and not let it negatively respond to the toxic situation.
I, as you, need to make the decision which may be a difficult one, to change your mindset as to how you will respond to negativity in your life. This could be a toxic friendship, work environment or marriage. How will you handle the toxicity that is interfering with your mindset growth? None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, it is our own ability to choose to suffer through our daily life or make the inner changes and change our mindset to improve the quality of our life, therefore having the ability to reach the goals we are striving to achieve.
I ma working on changing my mindset as to how I handle toxic people and environments, are you willing to change your mindset ?
Respond below and tell me what changes you are willing to make to save your mind and health to work toward a well balanced life.
Tina Butt, Health and Wellness Coach and Healthcare Advocate